Facing your Memories
by steffy2106
Summary: A terrible accident changed the brothers lives. They are separed but will they want to be reunite again? Are they ready to face their really selves? Sorry i'm not good for summaries and i don't want to give the plot away. Enjoy and comments please.
1. Chapter 1

**Situation**: _This story is about Supernatural. I've changed some facts of the show. Dean never made the pact with the Demon and the Brothers are not on the FBI or any police listings._

He woke up really early this morning, it was springtime and he could hear voices coming from the kitchen. He stood up and looked in the mirror. " Who are you?" He asked to himself. He was trying to discover who he was. He touched his face and walked closer of the mirror " Who the hell are you?!" He yelled to himself.

At this time someone knocked at the door and opened it.

" Are you okay Stephen?" Asked a woman worried.

" Yes Sorry Claudia." Said Stephen embarrassed. " I'm just really upset, I still know who I am and I'm sure that someone needs me somewhere but I just can't figure who!"

Claudia came in the room and put her hand on Stephens' arm. " I know it can be upsetting Stephen but the recovery of your memories can take some time you know. You have no permanent injuries on your brain, you'll recover I promise I just can't say when." She looked at him. " I know what I'm saying I'm your doctor remember!" She added with a smile.

" I know that but I'm here since 2 months now and I still have no clue. It's so frustrating!"

" We know some stuff about you Stephen. I mean we are almost sure you're not married because you don't have a mark on your finger. You must be working in a garage because you are the best mechanic around. Plus, you are really fit" She said blushing " and I saw many old and recent injuries on your x-rays so I deduce you are practicing a violent and physical sport. It's already something!"

" Thanks for being so positive! You're the greatest supporter a man can dreamed of! I mean you took me in your home without knowing anything about me!"

" Well, you didn't know anything about yourself either! And it 's quite a small town here Stephen. You needed to be helped by someone. I don't know your real name or what your life was but you are a good person, I'm sure of that!" She looked at her watch. " Well, I guess I've got to get ready I have to open the practice now."

" Yes you're right, I have to be to the garage in half an hour."

She left the room and Jake turned and looked at the mirror again. He started to talk to his reflection again. " Why are you so mad? What are you hiding?" He sighed. " It's like you don't want to remember!"

Claudia opened the practice door and found her secretary in front of it. She jumped back surprised.

" Doctor Hamilton?" Said the Secretary. " You are already down!"

" Yes Linda I live just upstairs you know it's not a big deal!"

" I know but your first appointment won't be here before an hour." Said Linda putting her bag behind her desk.

" Gosh I did it again! I never check my schedule!" Said Claudia shaking her head.

" Don't worry about it!" said Linda smiling. " You can go back to your place."

" No, I'm going to do the paper work. I'm quite late on it actually. Being early can be good!"

" I guess." Said Linda. " How is Stephen doing?"

" Well, he is really frustrated today. There is no lead on his identity and it seems that nobody reported his disappearance. The Sheriff has no leads. It's like he doesn't exist and it's really exasperating."

Linda sighed. " I know! What a poor man! I'm sure someone is missing him somewhere you can't be that gorgeous and be alone!"

Claudia started to laugh. " I get your point Linda. I'll be in my office if you need me."

Linda nodded.

Claudia sat at her desk and opened a file but she was remembering the day she found Stephen. She was running on her usual forest path when she found him on the edge of the river. He was covered in blood and had trouble breathing. She called the sheriff and tried to keep him alive. The sheriff brought him to the practice and she managed to patch him up. When he woke up three days later he had no memories about his life. She decided to name him Stephen because her favourite writer was Stephen King and it was the first name which popped in her head.

He seemed so lost, so sad. She was really worried for him so she decided to share her flat with him. When her car broke up he repaired it without any problems so, she succeeded to find him a job at the garage in town. She thought it would help him and it did for a while but today he was as depressed than he was just two months ago.

He was probably hurt that nobody was looking for him. The sheriff put his picture and his description on the national system and he was running through it every Monday but his researches where coming back negative every single time.

She really hoped that somebody was looking for him somewhere. Nobody deserved to be alone.


	2. Chapter 2

He was sated alone at the Roadhouse looking to his empty glass of scotch.

" Jo! I need a refill!" He said showing her his glass.

Jo rolled her eyes and came with the bottle to fill his glass.

" Leave the bottle here, it will save you a trip back."

" Come on! I know you're going through a rough path but drinking your way to the grave it's not the solution." Said Jo with a compassionate voice.

" Hum…Let me think… My mother and my father died my only family left was my brother and he left me too. I saw him get killed two months ago by a fucking demon and I couldn't recover his body because it has been washed away in the river. So tell me smart ass, What am I supposed to do?"

" You don't need to be such a dick with me Sam!" Said Jo angry and hurt at the same time. " I'm just trying to help you! You're acting just like Dean those days! You spend your days drinking and swearing to everyone!"

" Don't talk about my brother Jo!" Said Sam punching the bar. " He saved my ass back there. He saved me and he died because of it understand! I can drink as much as I want! I'm a paying customer no?"

" As you wish Sam. Do as you wish." Said Jo shaking her head with desperation.

Sam drunk his shot and took another one. He was going to finish this bottle tonight as he was doing every nights. Since Dean died, Sam did not feel like fighting anymore. Everybody he ever loved had been taken from him. He was alone now and completely broken. He could not fight without Dean. He was not strong enough to fight on his own! Dean was the real fighter he knew how to deal with everything.

Sam was seeing Deans' death every night, he needed to be drunk to be able to sleep. He felt guilty, he was in hell since he saw the Demon putting a blade in his brother body. He did not see the rest because the Demon knocked him down but when he woke up the demon was gone and Dean too. He found a lot of Deans' blood near the river edge and found his leather jacket on the edge about 2 miles down but no signs of Dean. His body had probably been washed away in the sea.

Sam growled out. A voice deep down was telling him that maybe his brother was still alive and that he will come back to him. That's why he was staying near the Roadhouse but everyday he was losing a small part of his hope and each night he was drinking a bit more.

He felt silly to have some hope. This hope was destroying him but facing the truth, the all truth, would certainly kill him.


	3. Chapter 3

Stephen came home after work and found Claudia preparing a bag.

" Hey where are you going?"

" Hey Stephen! Sorry but I've got to go to my parent anniversary party tonight I completely forgot about that! Can you believe that?" She started to laugh. " I forget everything those days! Anyway can you keep an eye on Cujo for me tonight?"

Stephen looked down. " You are really a Stephen Kings' fan aren't you?"

Claudia smiled " Why would you say that?"

" I don't know!" Said Stephen laughing " It's maybe because you called your 5 pounds Chihuahua Cujo but who knows! But yeh, I will keep an eye on the « _monster_ » don't worry about it." He added while picking up the dog.

" Thanks. Hum… Unless…" She scratched her nose " Unless you want to come with me? I mean it will be boring but it can be good for you to meet other people. I mean it's up to you! As you like! No pressure."

She seemed really embarrassed and it made Stephen smile.

" Yep, why not. It can be fun!" Said Stephen nodding. " But what are we going to do with Cujo?"

" Oh that's right! Well, we can take him with us. It's not too far anyway, it's only about 10 miles."

" Okay, let me just take a shower I'll be right back."

In the car Stephen opened the gloving box to put the jewellery box for Claudia's parents and he saw a gun.

" You have a gun?" He asked surprised

" Huh… Yes well… You know…" She blushed. " I'm a single woman and sometimes you can meet some psychos."

" I get you." Said Stephen laughing. " I have to stay respectful then."

" Yes you better watch out" Claudia said with a cheeky smile.

They drove about half way when the car stopped for no apparent reason.

" Fuck!" Said Claudia tapping the steering wheel. " We're going to be late now!"

" No, we're not. You told me yourself I'm the best mechanic around! I can fix it."

Stephen got out of the car an opened the hood with Claudia standing beside him.

" Are you supervising me?" He asked joking.

" Actually yes I am."

" That's good, I like to be supervised by you Dr Hamilton." He said looking deep into her eyes.

She blushed. She felt like a teenager. She laughed to hide her trouble.

Stephen went on the trunk when some strange man jumped on him. It was not really a man because his skin was red and he had hand with blade where the fingers should be.

Stephen was surprised by his own reaction. He punched the creature away.

" Get in the car!" He yelled to Claudia.

The creature came back at him and Stephen fought with it. He made him come closer to the passengers' side where the window was still open. He took the gun and shot the creature right between the eyes.

Claudia came out of the car and look at Stephen with surprised and looked at the creature which disappeared before their eyes.

" What the hell was that?!" Asked Claudia terrified.

" I don't know what it was but…" Stephen could not finish his sentence, a big van stopped at the side of their car.

" Thanks Dean you saved my ass again." Said a older man through the car window.

" Sorry who?" Said Stephen confused.

The man seemed surprised and frowned. " I was just thanking you for killing that _Torpido_, I was tracking him since a week!"

" Sorry but I don't understand" said Stephen confused.

The man stared at him for a couple of second and looked at Claudia visibly scared. " Oh okay! I get you… Well never mind, I'll see you around Dean. Take care and say Hello to Sam for me."

" Wait!" Screamed Stephen. But it was too late, the man was already gone.

" What the hell was that?!" Asked Claudia hysterical.

" I don't know!" Said Stephen while repairing the car. " I just want to get the hell out of here!"

" Yes, I guess we better go home. I don't feel like partying now. My parent can understand I'll tell them I had an emergency or something."

Stephen fixed the car and took the wheel. Claudia was not able to drive right now.

" That guy called me Dean!" Said Stephen while driving.

" Well maybe it's your name." She stared at him. " I'll call you Dean from now on, who knows maybe it will bring back your memory. Its' worth the shot."

Dean nodded.

" By the way, I don't why but you didn't seem surprise to see such a « _thing_ ». It's like you're used to see weird stuff."

" If only I knew!" Dean sighed. " I'd really want to tell you what's going on but it's still blank. Who is this Sam?"

" Maybe it's your girlfriend... Samantha? Does it ring a bell?" She asked praying that the answer would be no because deep down she hated that girl without even knowing her. She was jealous.

" I don't feel anything when you say that name." Dean sighed. " I can't believe he left like that! I wanted to ask him some questions."

" I bet you did!" Said Claudia who was feeling better. " But I have to say if that guy is your friend well… you've got pretty weird ones Dean." She looked at him. " I don't know why but it seems natural to call you Dean. You kindda look like a «_Dean_.»."

Dean started to laugh. " Well I don't know how to take that!"

They parked the car near the clinic.

" I'm sure we'll see things clearer tomorrow." Said Dean calmly.

" I hope so. I'm going to bed now Dean. Sorry but I just need to sleep."

" I understand. We'll talk tomorrow." Said Dean opening the flat door.

_**The Roadhouse **_

Sam was almost sleeping at a table, he was already drunk when a man came his way.

" Hey Sam!" Said the man.

" Frank…" Said Sam trying to keep his eyes open.

" What were the odds! I haven't seen you guys in like a year and I see the two brothers in the same night!" Said frank with a smile.

Sam shook is head. " Impossible Frank, Dean is dead."

" Well if he is dead then it was the greatest ghost I ever met because he killed the _Torpido_ I was hunting." Said Frank sitting down.

" You made a mistake, it couldn't be Dean." Said Sam sadly

" Come on Sam! I've met your dad and brother many times during hunts! I can recognise Dean Winchester when I see him. I even talked with the guy he was like 2 feet from me! He was with a chick and believe me he look really much alive!" Said Frank with a laugh

Sam was not drunk anymore. This revelation made him sober in an instant. " Are you sure? Where did you see him?"

" Hell yes I'm sure! I'm maybe getting old and all but I have good eyes and I was sober! He was repairing a pretty crappy old red Toyota on road 21 about 25 miles from here."

Sam kept staring at Frank. He wanted this story to be true but he saw Dean getting hurt! Sam sighed, he couldn't drive anyway. He needed to sleep and figure something to do in the morning when his mind will be working again. If Dean was anywhere to be found he would find him!


	4. Chapter 4

Dean woke up sweating, he had a terrible dream. It did not really meant anything for him but it shook him deep inside. When he opened the bedroom door he saw Claudia sat, drinking a coffee.

She looked at him, he seemed really worried.

" Hey what's going on? Are you thinking about last night?" She asked him.

" No not really…" He scratched his head. " Actually I had a confusing dream and I don't know what to think about it."

She served him a cup of coffee. " Sit and tell me about it." She said with a nice smile. " After what I saw last night I can take all in!"

Dean took the cup and sat at the table. " Okay… Hum… I dreamt about a guy and…" Dean stopped talking, he could see the scene in his head all over again.

" Oh gosh, if it's sexual please stop right now!" She was trying to make him laughed. He seemed so sad.

" No it's not!" He said trying to smile. " This guy was screaming my name and he had tears in his eyes it was like… it was like he wanting me to stay. He was so desperate."

" Oh…" Said Claudia " How was he? I mean how did he look like?"

" Well…" Dean look straight in front of him. He was trying to picture this man. " He was quite young, probably younger than me. He was really tall with brown hair and blue eyes. He was good looking actually. I felt really bad waking up, it was like I abandoned him and I have no idea of who he can be!"

" Maybe he's a friend or a member of your family." She took his hand. " You know most of the time when you're amnesic, your memories can come back through dreams at first. It's really good you know."

" I guess… But… Why this person is not looking for me? I can't be that important for him." Said Dean sadly.

" You don't know that! Maybe he thinks you're dead!"

Claudia could see his face change. " I mean…" She cleared her throat. " You were in pretty bad shape when I found you. I really can't explain how you survived. I don't like using this word but it's a miracle if you're still around know. Maybe that person thinks you're not around anymore."

Dean pouted. " It's possible… How... I don't know! It just seemed terrible to leave him. I felt so crushed when I woke up. I just want to forget about that. You know what I'm going to get ready for work."

" Uh Dean…" She pointed to the calendar. " It's Saturday, the garage is closed today remember?"

" Oh yes… Well, I'm going to check your car okay? Maybe I can fix it permanently."

" Sorry Dean but it's impossible." Said Claudia feeling bad because she knew that Dean needed to change his mind. " I have to go to my parents' house this morning. I won't be long I promise but they're pretty upset about last night. I'm really sorry."

" Don't worry, I'll just do the repairs in the flat." Said Dean walking back to his room.

She took up and followed him. " I'll be back early Dean I promise. I should be here just after lunch okay?"

" You don't need to hurry Claudia! I can stay alone you know." Said Dean with a sad smile.

" I know you can but I like being with you that's all." She was telling him only a part of the truth. She liked being around him but she also didn't want to leave him alone when he felt so distressed.

" Well that good because I like being around you too." He said looking down.

She walked back to her bedroom like in a dream. She really liked being with Dean. He was a really sweaty man and he was gorgeous but she was trying not to fall for him. It would be craziness to do so! He could be engaged for what she knew! If she felt for him what was going to happen when his memory will be back? He would leave her, that's what was going to happen! She could not take this risk.

She opened the door ready to go but Dean was still in his room.

" Dean I'm going now."

Dean came out of his room with only a towel around his hips.

Claudia felt silly to bush, she was seeing naked people everyday . She was a doctor for heaven sakes! She looked down.

" I'll see you later then" Said Dean coming closer, feeling her embarrassment.

" Okay." She replied with an unsure voice. She raised her head. " I better go now if I don't want to be back to late."

He came closer and kissed her softly. He turned around and walked back to his room. He did not want to know her reaction. He wanted to kiss her and just obeyed his urge.

Claudia stood there as if she was paralysed. She put her fingers on her lips. His lips were so soft. She wanted to kiss him again but decided to go, without a word. She needed to protect her heart.

Claudia arrived at her parents house faster than she thought. She could not even remember how she got there. She was obsessed with Dean kiss and did not know what to do about it. Maybe it did not mean a thing to him.

She parked on the street and sighed " Come on girl! You're an adult now you've got to act like it!" She said looking in the mirror.

Sam decided to drive around every city on road 21 to find the red Toyota Frank told him about. He felt silly to follow this lead but he needed to keep hope.

He arrived in a small city about 10 miles from the Roadhouse and drove around to find the car he was looking for.

He was about to give up and try another city when he saw a car parked in front of a white house. It was a pretty old red Toyota. He decided to park and to wait in the car to see if Dean was around. He could not go in this house and ask for his brother! How many old red Toyota you can find in the United States?

About two hours later a young woman came out of the house and walked to the Toyota. She was matching the description made by Frank. He jumped out to the car and ran to her. Maybe she was the miracle he was asking for every night. Maybe god heard his prayers and decided to give him his brother back.

" Excuse me." Said Sam when he arrived near the car.

" Yes?" She said with a nice smile.

" I know you'll think I'm crazy but do you know a guy named Dean?"

He could see her face changed. He took a picture from his pocket and handed it to her.

" It's a picture which have been taken a couple of years ago but he didn't change much. Have you seen him somewhere?"

She kept staring at the picture. There were no doubt possible the man on the picture was the Dean she knew, the one she felt in love with.

Sam could see from her reaction to the picture that she knew Dean.

" Please" He said with a broken voice. " I need you to help me. I need to find my brother."

She raised her head and looked at Sam while handing him back the picture. She had tears in her eyes. " I know where your brother is." She said with a sad voice. " You can follow me if you want."

Sam took her in his arms. " Thank you! Oh thank you! You're bringing me back to life you know!" He smiled.

She sat on her car. By tonight Dean will be gone and even if she knew that day will come she could not help but feeling crushed.

She was about to start the car when Sam knocked at the window. She opened it.

" By the way, my name's Sam Winchester and my brother is Dean Winchester".

" Well nice to meet you Sam". She said with a forced smile. " My name is Claudia Hamilton."


	5. Chapter 5

Claudia parked in front of the practice. Sam parked just behind her.

" You live on top of a doctor? That's unusual!" Said Sam trying to make conversation.

" I'm the doctor." Said Claudia smiling. " I'm the one who found Dean near the river."

" Wow! I didn't see that one coming!" Said Sam. " How is he doing?"

" Well, you'll see in a minute". Said Claudia walking to the door.

" Wait!" Said Sam retaining her by the arm.

Claudia turned around surprised.

" I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you but I need to know how he is doing before seeing him."

" I don't understand why. Don't you want to see your brother?"

" I do! However,…" Sam shook his head " Ugh… I want to know if he is like he used to be. I just want to know what to expect."

" Oh, I see! Well, physically he did not change much from the picture you shown me. He just has a couple of scares on the torso but that's about it."

She took his hand. Sam looked at her hand, this contact surprised him.

" There is just one thing, which is wrong with your brother, he is amnesic."

" What? Amnesic?"

" Yes but you should not worry about it. He has no permanent brain injuries and should recover his memory soon."

" Okay…" Sam nodded. " Okay, I'm sure once he'll see me he'll recover."

" That's possible. I think he dreamed about you last night. Everything will be fine."

She turned around and walked to the door. " Are you ready?"

" Yes. I'm so relieved you know. I really thought he was dead. I just can't believe it yet."

They walked up the stairs, Claudia opened the flats' door.

" Dean? Where are you?" Asked Claudia.

Dean bedroom was open and he replied from there. " I'm coming. I was just playing with Cujo. You know it a wild dog!"

" Cujo?" Asked Sam

" Don 't ask." Said Claudia shaking her head.

Dean came in the room with the dog in his arms. " You know he really hate when I steal his…" Dean stopped; he was staring at the man behind Claudia. He put the dog on the floor and came closer. He dreamt of him last night.

" Do I know you?" Asked Dean intrigued.

Sam walked to Dean and took him in his arms. " Gosh Dean! I'm so happy! You're still alive."

Tears started to run on Sam face. " I missed you so much!"

Dean was not moving. Sam loosened his embrace. " Don't you recognize me? I'm your brother. My name is Sam! You call me Sammy."

Dean did not react to this revelation. He could see pain on Sam's eyes.

" I'm sorry Sam." Said Dean finally. " I can't remember."

Claudia cleared her throat. " I'm going to go for a walk and leave you two alone. You really need to talk."

She took the dog leech and was ready to go when Dean stopped her.

" No! You stay here." He turned and looked at Sam." I'm sorry Sam but I really don't feel like talking today."

" What?" Said Sam upset. " How can you say that? You've been missing for two months!"

Dean looked down. " Maybe tomorrow Sam. I need to get ready first and… I really don't feel like it now."

" You don't feel like it?!" Sam shook his head. " I can't understand you really!"

" Is there a motel around here?" Asked Sam to Claudia.

" Well there is one just down the road. I can show you if you want." Said Claudia feeling bad for Sam. He was so happy to find his brother and Dean rejected him.

" No, that's fine" Said Sam with a broken voice. " I'll find it. I'll come back tomorrow."

He turned to Dean " I'll see you tomorrow Bro."

Claudia accompanied him downstairs. When she walked back to the flat, Dean was looking by the window.

" What the hell is wrong with you?" She was yelling.

" What?" Said Dean surprised.

" You didn't stop complaining about people not missing you and stuff! Now, your brother is there and you sent him away!"

" You don't understand!" Said Dean walking toward her.

" No, I don't Dean! I really don't! Explain me please!"

He sat on the kitchen table and stared at the dog. " There is a part in me, which doesn't want to remember my old life."

" What?" Said Claudia surprised by such answer. " How come?" She sat beside him.

" I can't really explain it but I'm not sure I want to face my old life. There is a small voice saying that I won't like my old me. I just don't know what to do!"

Claudia sighed. She took Deans' hand. She did not know what to say. She did not know the old Dean.

" You need to listen to him Dean. Tell something to Sam! You can't leave him like that. Just talk to him nothing else. Moreover, if you don't like the old you well… You can start a new life. It's never too late to start over."

" You're right. Like always! I'll talk with him tomorrow. I promise!"

" You better do Dean! Because if you don't I'll kick your butt and I'll ask Cujo to attack you okay?"

They started to laugh.


	6. Chapter 6

Claudia felt bad for Sam. She could remember his look when he left the flat. She decided to visit him at the motel. She did not know what she was doing. How could she help him to feel better but she knew she had to try.

" Damn conscience!" She said to herself walking to the motel.

She asked to speak to Sam Winchester at the reception but the receptionist told her that nobody with that name checked in today.

She sighed. She had lost track of Sam. Why did he leave? She was heading back home when she saw Sam car parked.

She went back to the reception.

" Excuse me to bother you again but do you know if the man driving the black car parked there is staying at the motel?" Said Claudia pointing at the Impala.

" No trouble Doc Hamilton" Said a young man. " Yes that dude is there! He seems in pretty bad shape. His name is Hasselof and he's staying in room 2."

" Hasselof?" Asked Claudia incredulously. "Well thanks."

She knocked on the door. Sam opened.

"May I come in?"

" Of Course! Sais Sam letting her in. " Dean is ready to see me?" Asked Sam the eyes full of hope.

"No, not yet but…. What is going on with you?"

"What? I don't understand." Said Sam surprised.

"What's your name?"

" What...What do you mean?"

" Are you a moron?" Shouted Claudia. She was really upset and felt like she needed to protect Dean. " I asked you what's your name! It's a pretty easy question! Well… Maybe not for you!"

" Hey! What's going on?!" Asked Sam confused. " My name's Sam Winchester I already told you that!"

" Are you sure?" Asked Claudia with a sharp voice. " You're not Mr Hasselof?"

Sam sighed and sat on a chair. " Oh I see… Well it's a long story and I really don't think -"

" Well you better think fast!" Said Claudia cutting him off. " You should have a better imagination because choosing Hasselof as a fake name! Come on! The guy is a dick!"

" Dean chose it." Said Sam suddenly sad.

" Dean? But… Who are you guys?"

" I can't really tell you and… and I'm sorry about that but just so you know we're not bad people. We just do what we have to do." Said Sam calmly.

She sighed and sat on the bed near to the door. Claudia was able to see that he was not lying. " I know Dean is not a bad person and I don't want him to get hurt. I got to know him during the last two months and…And even if I don' know his past I know who he is deep inside and I like it."

Sam smiled. " I see… Well he got lucky to be found by you! You've got to understand me I don't want to hurt him or you but I just want to get my brother back!"

" I understand Sam. I honestly do but…I can't help you with his memories. He is the only one able to unlock them and…and it seems that he doesn't want to."

" I can't blame him!" Said Sam with a sarcastic laugh. " I would like to erase my past too but life is life and you have to face it eventually."

" Wow! You seems really broken Sam." She stood up, walked up to him and took his hand. " I'll try to help you but I don't want to hurt Dean in the process. I mean I know that having a past is essential to construct a future but I don't want him to be as broken as you are Sam." She saw that Sam seemed hurt by her comment. " No offence!"

" None taken!" Said Sam lying. " I just want Dean back the way he was. He is all I've got!" Added Sam with tears in his eyes.

Claudia looked at Sam. She also had tears in her eyes. She knew to well how he felt. He felt alone in this world and she didn't want anybody to feel like that. " I'll talk to him. Come tomorrow around twelve. I'll cook us a nice lunch and I'm sure we'll sort things out."

Sam stood up and hugged her. " Thank you so much. You're really a good person."

She sighed and walked to the door. She was ready to go when she turned around and looked at Sam. He could see tears falling on her cheeks. " I'd rather be different sometime you know. Life is not particularly good with nice people."

She closed the door behind her.


	7. Chapter 7

Claudia was back to the flat. Dean was working on her car.

" Hey." Said Dean with the hands on the engine. " I've got good news, I found out what was wrong with the car. It'll be fixed in no time."

He smiled to her but she could see sadness in his eyes.

" Oh woaw! That's great Dean. I knew you were number one!" She said smiling back. " You know what? As a reward I'll cook you something nice."

" Hum… you're trying to catch me with food don't you? That's the best way!" Dean saw her redden. He laughed.

" Okay well… I…I see you later." She said walking back to the stairs.

" I'll be up in half an hour. By the way, where have you been?"

" What?" Said Claudia. She understood the question but she needed some time to figure out an answer.

" I asked you where you've been. I mean I'm not policing you or anything but you left pretty upset and…and. Oh nevermind!" Said Dean embarrassed.

" Oh I just walked around you know… to clear my mind a little bit. Nothing more." She said looking up. " Okay, I'll see you in half an hour then."

When she arrived in the flat, she sat in the armchair and put her head on her hands. She hated to lie, to Dean even more than anybody else. She lied pretty much everyday during her premeds years. She had to lie to forget that terrible day.

She shook her head. " Come on girl. It was a long time ago. You just need to get over it." She said talking to herself.

She stared at the laptop on the coffee table. It could not hurt to do a small research on the Winchesters.

What she discovered surprised her. There were a blog about hunters. Those hunters were atypical, they were hunting demons. A small chapter was talking about Dean and Sam Winchester but also about their father John who died recently.

She did not know why but she checked the computer journal and saw that this page had already been consulted. Did Dean knew the truth?

Claudia sighed, she understood Sam reaction when she talked about the memories. She would give anything she had to forget her past. They had probably seen some terrible things. She wanted to know more, she needed to because she had to face the truth, she was deeply in love with Dean and she did not want to loose him. She could not face loneliness again.

Dean was looking to the engine but he was not touching it. He was having some flashes since he saw Sam. He kept seeing an older man, with back hair telling him that he was proud. He knew deep down that this man was his father.

He was not honest with Claudia because he was blocking his memories. Each time he had some flashes he felt terrible sad, angry but most of all he felt helpless.

He did some researches on Claudia's computer while she was away. He discovered what he was doing for a living. He was a hunter! He understood now his reaction when he faced the creature the other night. He didn't want to go back to this life. He wanted to be happy. He wanted to love and to be loved. He wanted to stay here and be with Claudia. She would think he was crazy if she knew the all truth about his life.

He sighed and closed the trunk. He wanted to forget all of that and enjoy his evening with Claudia because it would maybe be one of their last time together. She was nice and ready to accept many things but he was sure that she would not accept who he really was. She was going to send him away and he knew that he could not face loneliness again.


	8. Chapter 8

**I just want to take a minutes to thank you guys for your lovely comments. It means a lot to me and help me with inspiration. I hope that you're going to like the update.**

**Take care.**

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Dean woke up early for a Sunday morning but he was still really tired. It was like he did not sleep but he clearly knew that his restless sleep was due to all his nightmares. He could smell a fantastic odor coming from the kitchen .

" Hum it's smell good" said Dean walking to Claudia.

She laughed. " Yeah it does! I worked my ass off on this one! It's almost twelve Dean, you better go and get dress okay?"

He looked at her with a cocky smile. " I know you like it when I show some skin. Come on! Don't you like it?" He said turning on himself.

" Well… Yes I confess that I do enjoy seeing you in your boxers but…" She added looking down at his boxer. "But I have to say that the ducks are a bit too much".

Deans' looked down but did not seemed embarrassed at all. " Oh you don't like ducks! Well, I can get rid of my boxers in less than a second if you want me too!" Dean looked deep into her eyes and laughed when he saw her blushed.

" Hum…I…I don't think it's a good idea just now. Let me get back to you on that one." She said trying to hide her embarrassment with humor. "Just go and dress up please."

" Okay but your missing something great!" Said Dean turning around. His eyes stopped on the table which was set for three. " We're having company for lunch? Oh! I'm so crushed!" Said Dean in mock hurt. " I thought you cooked a nice meal for me and it's for someone else! Who is the lucky guest?" Added Dean winking.

" Hum, it's…it's… -" .

" Oh no you didn't!" Said Dean cutting her off. He guessed who was invited by seeing the look on her face. " Why did you do that for?" Shouted Dean.

" Oh shush!!" Said Claudia with exasperation. " Just suck it up okay! I mean the guy is your brother and he loves you! I don't want to hear you whining now. I'll do the conversation if you want to but you're going to accept him and be nice."

Dean was shocked by Claudia reaction. He did not expect her to take Sam's side. " I'll be there! You know you can be a real Nazi sometimes? Well I better - "

Dean was cut off by the bell. He sighed and walked to the bedroom.

" Hey Sam! You're just in time". Said Claudia with a nice smile.

" Thanks again for inviting me over." Said Sam hugging Claudia. " Is Dean fine with the idea of me coming here?" He asked with some apprehension.

" Of Course he is!" Lied Claudia. " I knew he would come around". She added walking Sam to the living room. " What do you want to drink? A beer?" She asked

" Yes thank you" said Sam sitting on the sofa.

Claudia walked into the kitchen and took a deep breath. She had to patch Dean and Sam today. She had no other choice. It was her mission even if it was killing her inside.

The meal when quite smoothly and Claudia felt relieved.

Sam talked most of the meal. He was trying to talk about things that Dean used to enjoy like music. Because Dean was not really reacting Sam decided to try inversed psychology. He read some articles on internet the night before and some studied were showing the positive effects of inversed psychology on patients refusing to face their past.

" Well Claudia, Dean and I really enjoyed to listen to Celine Dion when we were taking our road trips." Said Sam trying to sound serious.

Dean made a face. " I don't think so Sammy!"

Sam raised his eyebrows surprised. " How did you call me?"

" What?" Said Dean surprised. " Did I make a mistake? I'm pretty sure your name's is Sam." Said Dean sarcastically.

" Well yeah… My name is Sam but you called me _Sammy_."

" And?" Said Dean frowning. " Is that a problem?"

" No, it's the contrary actually. You used to call me Sammy. You always did. You're the only one who's calling me that way."

" Oh…" Said Dean surprised. " I guess… I guess-"

" I've got to go!" Said Claudia cutting Dean off jumping from her chair.

" What? You decided like that?! You're quite weird you know." Said Dean raising his eyebrows.

" Huh… Yeah…Hum I forgot something really important." She looked at her watch. "I'm so sorry, I'll be back as soon as I can okay?" She said running around looking for a car keys.

" I'm sorry guys!" She shouted closing the door behind her.

Dean and Sam stayed quite for a couple of minutes.

Sam cleared his throat. " Well…She is pretty amazing!"

Dean nodded keeping his eyes on the door. " Yes she is… Sometime I think she is from another planet!"

----------------------**Somewhere outside town**-------------------------------------

Claudia parked her car just outside an old and abandoned farm and went inside. She was furious.

" Why the hell did you call me during lunch?!" She said to a woman standing there.

The woman just kept staring at her without a word.

" What?!" Said Claudia impatiently. " And please stop calling the way you do. Hearing your voice directly in my head is just killing me."

The woman laughed. " Well technically it can't kill you because…. Let's face it you're already dead."

" Not really no!" Said Claudia destabilized.

" How can you be « _not really _» dead?" Asked the woman raising her eyebrows. " Anyway, maybe you would've preferred for me to appeared directly in your living room?"

Claudia sighed. " No… I guess not. So what do you want?" Asked Claudia with despair.

" I? I don't want anything but the _big boss _wants the brothers to be reunited by tonight."

" What?" Said Claudia almost shouting. " How am I supposed to do that? I need more time!"

" Well… That's too bad because you don't have more time. We had to put Sam on your way sooner then we expected because you can't be around Dean any longer."

" Why? Did I do something wrong?" Said Claudia with tears in her eyes.

The woman walked to her slowly and put her hand on Claudia's shoulder. " The boss knows everything Claudia and he knows that you're falling in love with him and you know that you can't!"

" Why can't I?" said Claudia with a broken voice. " You never told me who he was! I didn't know he was a hunter! You didn't tell me he was a Winchester!! I never thought I could love someone ever and now I met him. Please don't take him from me! Maybe I can just go with them. No?" Said Claudia crying.

The woman nodded negatively. She seemed really sad for Claudia. " No you can't." Said the woman nicely. " You've got other missions. And…And the Winchester needs to be together. Just them two. They could not fight effectively if Dean is in love and well…" said the woman looking down. " He is falling in love with you and it just can't happen. I'm sorry."

" You're sorry." Said Claudia in a whisper. " That's just great! I'm just not allowed to be happy right?"

" You're allowed to be happy. Just not with Dean."

Claudia nodded in resignation. " Well, I'll take care of that. Who cares about my broken heart anyway? Just tell the boss that he should have left me die on that day."

She walked back to the car and put her forehead on the steering wheel. She started to cry. She was crying like if the world just disappeared. She was in so much pain, she could not breath anymore. Life for her was just a succession of abuses, pain and disappointment.


	9. Chapter 9

**Author note****: I'm sorry guys but I won't be able to update the story for a couple of weeks because I'm moving and I have to find a new internet provider etc… Anyway on the plus side I'll update with 2 or 3 chapters when I'll be back online. Take Care. **

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Claudia arrived home later than she expected. She needed to look as usual when seeing Sam and Dean again.

She opened the door to find Dean washing the dishes.

" Hey. Sorry I'm a bit late. Where is Sam?" She asked looking around.

" Don't worry I didn't do anything bad!" Dean smirked. " We talked quite a lot in fact. Well we had to with you gone!" Added Dean joking.

" I'm sorry." Said Claudia sitting in the living room. " I had to meet someone."

Dean scowled and sat near her. " Meet someone huh? I hope it's not another man!" Said Dean in mock hurt.

" What does it change?" Said Claudia as if she was talking to herself.

" What does it change?" Asked Dean surprised. " I thought… Er….I thought that our kiss yesterday meant something to you too."

" Oh come on Dean!" Said Claudia with exasperation. " It was just a kiss nothing more." It hurt her to say that because nothing could be farer than the truth.

" Just a kiss!" Said Dean standing up. " You don't fool me Claudia!" He bent down and brought his face close to hers. " I'm maybe amnesic but I'm not stupid! You've got feelings for me! The same than I've for you."

Claudia could see that Dean was hurt. She was not sure to be able to play for much longer. She had to get rid of him.

Claudia shrugged. " Think what you want Dean but…." She sighed " I don't know how to tell you that but it's maybe the right time for you to go."

" What?" Said Dean surprised. He could not believe what he was hearing. " You want me to go?!"

Claudia stood up. " Listen Dean. I really think you're a nice guy and all but you knew that your stay here will be temporary and now that you've found out who you are you should leave."

" I just can't believe your saying that!" said Dean with a sad voice. " Why do you want me to go so fast? Are you hiding something?"

" No I'm not hiding a-ny-thing." Said Claudia slowly as if she was talking to a child. " The person I met today is my ex-boyfriend and we decided to get back together."

Dean looked at Claudia incredulously.

" Don't look at me like that Dean. It's like you homeless! Your brother who loves you is there and willing to help. I need to construct my life too and…Well…Sorry but you're not a part of it."

Dean stood up and walked to the room. Once he arrived at the door, he turned around and looked at Claudia with disdain. " I guess you're right because apparently you're not the kind of person I thought you were. I'll be gone in fifteen minutes" Said Dean closing the door.

Claudia waited a couple of seconds and called Sam.

" Sam? It's Claudia. Can you come back please? Dean is ready to go with you."

" Huh? What?" Said Sam surprised. " How come? I mean I left him less than a hour ago and he said that he was not ready yet."

" Why asking? Maybe God has plans for you. Who knows!" Said Claudia trying to sound detached. " You know what would be good? A little less questions and a little more actions. Don't you want your brother back?"

" Of course I do! I leave now." Said Sam who could not hide his joy.

" Great! The door is open just come straight up." Said Claudia.

" Yeah no problem. Thanks again Claudia. You're a really angel."

" So I've been told…" Said Claudia turning off her mobile.

She sat on the armchair near the window and looked outside. She chuckled. Was she an angel? No not really…She was just working for one.


	10. Chapter 10

**Author note**: **Hey. I'm posting a chapter earlier than I thought because I won't have internet on my new flat for quite some time (way more than a couple of weeks!). So, because of that I've decided to go to a friend house and post a new chapter for you guys. I hope you're going to enjoy this one. Take care and thanks again for the nice reviews**.

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**One month later**

Dean was in the car in front of a massive building. There was snow all over which made the building even less welcoming.

Dean blew air in his hands. "Come on Sammy…" He said to himself. " If you don't come back soon I'll froze to death here.''

At this moment Sam came out of the building and sat into the car.

" Sorry Dean. I never thought it would take so long." Said Sam opening a book. " But I've found some good info about what we're hunting here."

" Yeah? Well… That's good because now there is a reason for me to freeze to death!" Dean turned to look at Sam. "Why is that you who pretended to be the student in anthropology? It's always you! I could play the student too sometime."

Sam laughed and shook his head. " No you can't Dean! You won't be believable in the role. The only things you really master are girls, booze and cars!"

"And? That's what a student is supposed to be no?" Said Dean seriously. " Please don't kill the myth!" He added in mock hurt

" Right…You could be a student…. A dumb one but still…You can play the student next time." Said Sam with laugher on his eyes.

" Thank you!" Said Dean with relieve in his voice. " Let's get back to the motel alright? You'll explain me everything there. I really need to be in a warm place right now. I…I just can't feel my ass anymore!"

Dean started the car.

Sam giggled. " Why? You could feel your ass before? That's original!"

" You know what I mean!" Said Dean in mock hurt. " Don't play with word or I'll kick your ass!"

" I really missed you Dean." Said Sam serious now. " It's good to have you back."

Dean nodded. " I missed you too bitch!" Said Dean trying to joke because he was too emotional. " I just… I just don't know how I could forget you." He added looking straight to the road.

Sam did not reply. He felt like nothing needed to be add. He just smiled blissfully, it felt so good to have his brother back.

They parked in front of the motel and walked straight into the room.

" So, let's get back to business. What did you find out while acting all smart-ass?" Said Dean sitting on a single bed.

" Well…" Said Sam opening an old and dusty book. " The University received a mummy from the Cairo three weeks ago." Sam sat down and put the book on the table. " Apparently they have to identify it but each person who approached it hum…died. I think we need to go there to find out who is this mummy to find out which kind of curse can be attached to it."

" Nuh huh." Said Dean shaking his head vigorously. " I think we should do some research first. We need some kind of protection before to go because well… I didn't really like the dying part!"

" Come on Dean! Don't be such a woos!" Said Sam. " You never bailed before. I just need to see the sarcophagi. Once I'll see the symbols on it, I'll figure which mummy is inside and we'll be able to neutralize it!" Sam sighed. " You know I don't like taking stupid risks. You're the one who liked them, not me!"

Sam looked at Dean for a while.

" You changed." Said Sam softly. " I mean you're still Dean at many levels but you're also so much different. I…I don't really know how to explain." Added Sam embarrassed.

Dean stood up. " Give me an example Sammy…Please!" Said Dean irritated.

" Well, the main one is that the old Dean would have acted first and think latter!" Said Sam calmly.

" Well… Excuse me Sammy if I don't want to take some inconsiderate risks! If I recall you always complained about that before no? You're a bit hypocrite to get me on that!"

Sam sighed. " It's not what I meant Dean and you know it. I didn't criticise your « metamorphose » I just said that you changed that's all! I care for you and you're the only family I got left so sorry if I worry for nothing but I just wanted to know why you changed and what you feel. It's easy no?"

Dean cleared his throat. " We better go to check the sarcophagi now then." He took the car keys. " As soon as we find out who this mother fucker is we'll be able to stop it."

Sam stood up and shook his head. " Some things never change. You never shared your feelings and apparently you never will."

They parked in front of the history and anthropology department.

" Let's go" Said Sam opening the door.

Dean caught his arms but kept staring in front of him. " I owe you the truth Sammy." He said sadly.

Sam closed the car door and turned to look at Dean but he couldn't look into his eyes because Dean was looking at the steering wheel.

" You're right Sammy I did change but I'm sure you don't know why. Don't get me wrong I won't trade my place beside you. You're all I've got and I love hunting with you but my motives are a bit different now." Said Dean with a broken voice. " You see... Before my accident, the only thing that really matter was to take all these monsters down. I didn't care about the consequences or about my life. As long as you were okay well…I was fine too!"

Tears started to fall on Sams' cheeks, he could hear the pain and distress in Deans' voice.

" The two months I passed in this small town in the middle of nowhere showed me the life I never had. I grew up hunting, I knew how to handle a gun before learning to read properly! Now, I had a taste of what life really is! I had a job, a place to stay I…I had a life!"

" I'm sorry." Said Sam sadly. " I shouldn't have come to take you back with me. You deserve to have a life more than anyone I know."

" No Sammy! Don't say that!" Said Dean finally looking at his brother. He had tears in his eyes. " My life can't be fully happy if you're not around. I'm glad to have my memory back, I don't want to forget about you! Never! What I meant is that a « normal » life is good too and now I have different goals in life. I don't see myself as a hunter and only a hunter anymore. Before my accident I thought that I'd hunt till the day I die but now I just want to stop the war and construct a life. I want to protect myself. That's all!"

Sam smiled and put a hand on Deans' shoulder. " I'm so glad to hear that Dean. Now you can understand my point of view each time I was telling you that hunting was not everything."

Dean nodded. " Yeah but I couldn't regret something I never knew."

" That's right but now you do and you need to keep that close to your heart! You know what would be good? We could go back and see Claudia after dealing with the mummy." Added Sam winking.

" What's the point?" Said Dean coldly. " She is constructing her life too and I'm not part of the plan." Said Dean apparently lost in his thought.

" Why do you say that?" Asked Sam curiously.

" Nevermind. We should go an take a look at that sarcophagi." Said Dean all professional again.

---------------------------**Claudia's Office**---------------------------------------------------

Claudia was examining a child.

" Will he be fine?" Asked a man worried.

" Yes he will." Said Claudia nicely looking at some X-rays. " He just spread his ankle."

She turned to the little boy and smiled. " So tell me sweaty…How did you do that?"

The little boy looked down. " Well... My cousin jumped from the wall and…and I wanted to do just like him but he is bigger than I am!"

" Oh I see!" Said Claudia laughing. " I guess you've learned your lesson! Don't worry I will just put a bandage and you'll be able to run again in a couple of weeks."

Claudia turned around and looked to the father. " You're here in holiday right?"

" Yes. I came to see my sister Janet Harlington." Said the man. " Thank you for taking care of this little adventurer on your day off."

" Don't mention it." Said Claudia with a smile. " It's almost impossible to resist to this cute face." She added looking at the boy. She gave him a sweet. " What's your name honey?"

He looked at her and smiled. " My name is Dean."

Claudia could not contain a laugher. " Yeah right!" She thought. " That's a pretty name! I really like it."

Claudia did the bandage and held them to the door.

She was back on her office when she heard a voice behind her.

" You're really nice you know that?" Said the woman behind her.

Claudia sighed and turned around. " I'm so lucky!" She said sarcastically. " My favourite angel is here just to see me!" She added with a sardonic smile.

The woman smiled. " I won't consider the sarcasms. I just came to tell you that Dean is feeling better now. His memory is back and…"

" Why are you telling me that for?" Asked Claudia coldly cutting the woman off.

" I figured you wanted to know that the mission succeeded." Said the woman still very calm. "You changed him deeply inside. Much more than we expected actually. He won't be reckless anymore."

Claudia nodded. " Well thanks for telling me. You're free to go now." She added pretending to look at a file.

" Why are you so bitter?" Asked the woman nicely.

" Why am I so bitter?" Asked Claudia incredulous. " It's unbelievable! You saved me 10 years ago without asking me if I wanted to! Since then I'm working for you and I don't really mind but…but I'm fed up to be alone! You healed my body but Dean healed my mind. I was just so happy to find someone I felt good for the first time in many years and you took it from me!"

" You shouldn't talk like that." Said the woman walking to Claudia and put her hand on Claudia's arm. " We saved you that night because you were supposed to greatness. You were going to be working for the Good anyway but you did sooner than we expected. You were supposed to grow old and become an one of us but…Evil is everywhere and we never expected that you'll be at risk at pre-med. As for Dean…" She gave her a nice smile. " We didn't take him from you because he was never yours. Dean Winchester is not supposed to be attached, not yet anyway. We want you to be happy, we want you to grow old loved with children around you."

Claudia just nodded she had nothing to add. She knew that she could not change their mind. She was just pleased to learn that Dean was dealing better than she did.

" Just keep faith Claudia" Said the woman. "Things are going to be brighter soon."

" Right…if you say so." Said Claudia tired.

The woman disappeared and Claudia started to recall the terrible night in pre-med when her life changed forever.


	11. Chapter 11

"Are you done?" Asked Dean impatiently

"No Dean…I'm not done." Whispered Sam. "Can you give me like five minutes huh? You now I didn't take Egyptian hieroglyphs as second language!"

"Whatever…" Said Dean looking around. "Just hurry up okay."

Sam just sighed.

About fifteen minutes later Sam turned to Dean. "Okay I'm done we can go."

"Finally:" Said dean feeling relived. "You said to leave you five minutes."

"Huh…Yep and what if I did? Do you want to argue here or get the hell out?" Added Sam with sarcasms

"I choose the second option." Said Dean walking fast to the door.

They sat on the car.

"So? What did you find out? And it's better be good!"

"Yes Dean it's good all right!! I've found out that the mummy is called _Toutenkarton _and…"

"That's a shitty name!" Added dean laughing.

"Very constructive comment Dean... Really." Said Sam shaking his head.

"What?! It's true no?" Said Dean still laughing.

"Ummmm….Anyway" Sam pretended to ignore Dean last comment. "I know that there is a talisman we can put on the sarcophagi in order to stop this malediction." He opened their dads' journal. "We just need to find some ingredients and we're all set."

"Okay! That's fine by me but… Just one thing Sammy. You're the one going to touch the creepy mummy body cause I won't." Added Dean making a disgusted a face.

After putting the talisman on the mummy sarcophagi. They decided to go to a bar to chill out a bit.

"Aw, I'm glad we're done" Said Dean sipping his beer.

"Well…You didn't do much!" Said Sam laughing.

"How can you say that?" Said Dean in mock hurt. "What are you doing of all the moral support huh?"

"Oh yeah….Right! I forgot about that!" Said Sam laughing even more.

"Hey guys! I guess you've found your brother after all! I told you I saw him." Said Frank stopping at their table.

Dean looked at Sam confused.

"Well…it's good to see you again Dean" Said Frank shaking his hand. "Your brother was just a mess without you. Take care okay?"

"I will do Frank thanks." Frank walked away. "What is it all about?" Asked Dean to Sam.

Sam sighed. "I thought you were dead and I was drinking at the Roadhouse when I met Frank. He assured me seeing you with a girl. That's when I decided to look for you again."

Dean nodded.

"I told you it's a real miracle!." Dean groaned. "Don't do that Dean! We haven't seen Frank in such a long time! What were the odds for him to see you and me in the same night huh? Tell me smart ass?!" Asked Sam seriously.

"It's just a coincidence Sammy it's no miracle." Said Dean exasperated.

"Think whatever you want but I'm sure it's a miracle. Why did I see Frank? How did I find Claudia that easily? huh? You won't change my mind Dean!" Said Sam seriously.

"Oh! Wait a minute...Yeah you're right! I saw God last week for our weekly poker game and he told me he helped! I feel…so privileged!" Said Dean sarcastically.

Sam sighed. "I'm not trying to convince you or anything but you already saw demons, ghosts, werewolves, vampires and I don't know what else! You believe in Hell why don't you want to give heaven a try?"added Sam sadly.

"Ummm let me think…. Did I ever met an angel? No! Did I ever met Jesus? I don't think so! So please prove me heaven is real and I'd believe. Can you prove it to me?"

Sam opened and closed is mouth.

"I knew you couldn't so shut the hell up!" Said Dean finishing his beer. "Well…" He rubbed his hands. "I guess I'm going to go for another one. The barmaid is kinda hot!!" He added with a cheeky smile.


End file.
